Do You Want To Super Size That or Have Extra Cheese?

You're probably aware of the First Lady's push to make our children healthier. More nutritious meals, especially at school. The President made a decision to require school lunches to be healthier. More fruit and veggies, right? Well, the congress decided, with the help of the potato growers and the pizza industry, to agree with the president and better define "healthier". So in order to better define healthier, congress explained that potatoes and tomatoes are veggies and therefore healthier. So now, school lunches can continue to offer french fries and pizza on the menu. Now I love pizza and french fries. You can tell I do by my girth. But the thing is, girth is what Mrs. Obama was trying to shrink. I have girth, and while I rarely admit it, I'm getting older, so my girth isn't quite as bad as girth in a child. Girth is the problem. I don't mean to suggest that french fries and pizza should be banned from America. Rather, I think they should be reserved as  special treats. Daily consumption of french fries and pizza equates to girth while french fries and pizza reserved as special treats, equate to mirth. See! It's only a change of a single letter, but research shows that mirth is healthy, while girth is unhealthy. Maybe congress could offer a tax incentive for "m" and a tax increase for "g". But then some alphabet activists would probably point out that while a tax cut for m might be nice, it would be unfair to saddle g with an increase in  taxes. After all, "g" alone is not unhealthy. Look at good as an example. There are many honorable words beginning with g. Well, okay if taxing is out of the question, we'll just have to find another way to win the new "Battle of the Bulge".