Fleshing Out The Platform.

Well, friends. I'm fine tuning my stump speech and an ad for my PAC, P.I.M.P. You remember in my last transmission, that I announced my decision to form an exploratory committee to begin running for the presidency. And I don't mean of a corporation. I've formed my Political Action Committee, Put In My Pocket, or P.I.M.P. Anyway, one of the things I've noticed and have become concerned about is the tendency of candidates to claim they will institute an open and transparent government. Once elected, however, they promptly make everything secret. I don't plan to let that happen in my  administration. No-sirree. I hereby state that, if elected, I will form a translucent government. Everything that happens will be well lit, so as to eliminate any confusion, but will be blurred so as to allow for the maximum security. Ya can't be too careful, ya know. There could be enemies lurking about. One of the planks in my platform will include giving the vote to corporations. They already, pretty much own congress, but I want them to feel equal to any private citizen as well. This will also allow corporations to hold office. After all, the Supreme Court has determined corporations to be persons. I'm only taking one 'more' small step for corporations. Another concern I have is the economy, and with it, jobs. My plan is to tax everyone 100%. I will then turn all of the tax income over to the corporations so they can create jobs for every citizen, should they choose to do so. In one brilliant stroke, I will have solved both the economic downturn and put every citizen to work, whether they want to or not. Likewise, every citizen will have healthcare through their employer, although they will have to pay 100% of the costs. After all, you can't expect corporations to take it out of their meager profits, can you? Now, you may think that by turning all of the tax money over to corporations, there would be none left to run the government. Not so.  The government would have ample funds to operate from the "under the table" payments from the corporations for the best contracts. Of course Congressmen and Senators would get their usual percentage of the take. See! Everything always works out in the end. So? What do you think of my chances, so far?