These Feet Ain't Made For Dancing!

Well, now they've done it! Now the fat is in the fryer! Now the time has come to act resolutely! Now they've gone and upset nature! Now it's time to hold their feet to the fire! China has really gone and done it. They have slapped a cruel tariff on chicken feet. A 100% tariff to be specific. The claim, and it's totally unfair and untrue, is that the U.S. is unfairly supporting this vital industry by providing lower feed costs to chicken farmers so they can dump the feet at below cost on China, thereby unfairly competing with Chinese chicken farmers. But the thing is our chicken farmers are paying higher costs, not lower costs for feed. That coupled with the fact that in America, chicken feet are a waste problem that must be disposed of, while in China, chicken feet are a delicacy, consumed with beer. So not only is China messing with our chicken growers, they're messing with the Chinese people, who love their chicken feet. Especially the plumper, cleaner, tastier American chicken feet, to those of the Chinese poultry industry. China just doesn't have a chicken leg to stand on. Or thigh or breast, for that matter. My fellow Americans, if push comes to cluck, we need to stand upwind of the chicken ranch and loudly proclaim our solidarity with the plight and the flight of the lowly chicken. Now you may think this is just chicken feed when it comes to the poultry business, but the chicken feet export industry has risen to over $1 billion per year. It's time to put our feet down and peck a fight with China over this obvious infraction of the WTO rules. We've submitted a complaint to that organization and are awaiting a decision. In the meantime, all is not lost. A strong black market has sprung up in China for American feet. Chicken feet that is. But the point is, we deserve to export chicken feet without this unfair treatment. If we can win on this issue, it will be a feather in our caps. And a few less feet in the landfills. WE'RE FOR FATTER, JUICIER FEET!