My prayer, "Lord make me impervious to any outside or inside distractions, failures or attacks that might cause my employer any financial disadvantage, like Jamie Dimon." He's a man of steel. No wait, he's a man of sterling silver. No, wait, he's a man of platinum. Maybe platinum coated with Teflon. Nothing sticks to this CEO and Chairman of the Board of J.P. Morgan Chase. What's a few fines totaling over $20 billion among shareholders anyway? J.P. still made a profit even if it could have been bigger.
So don't fire this guy. Why not? Who knows, maybe his separation parachute would be too expensive for the bank to pay. Maybe he's got some juicy goods on some of the directors. Whatever, he's a man that can do no wrong in the eyes of his employers. Hey, maybe by now he owns a majority share of the company. It'd be pretty hard to fire the owner, now wouldn't it?
It never ceases to amaze me that folks at the top of the financial world seem to be far too important to fire or indict. Apparently the world will quickly and disastrously come to an end if any of the Jamie Dimonds of the world were to stub their toes. Ya know, if you or I were to cost our company one tenth of a percent of it's profits, we'd be placed before the firing squad and, on the count of one, shot in every part of the body until dead, dead, D-E-D, DOD (dead on delivery). And then fired.
What's he got that I don't have? I mean besides good looks, sharp clothes, good hair, loads of connections in the right places, nice cars, great home. Hey, just because he can turn a profit doesn't make him better than me, does it? It does? I guess I'm sunk, but at least I haven't broken any laws. Nobody knows if Jamie has, because nobody's talking. I'd love to have a heart to heart with his accountant, off the record of course. And his personal assistant. There's got to be a story on him somewhere.
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