Tax Reform Made Easy.

       Today class, we're going to discuss revenue neutral tax reform. So who would like to suggest how we can do this? Yes Douglas, what do you propose? Aha, Douglas suggests we eliminate corporate taxes. Now who thinks that's a good idea? Nobody? Well what if I pointed out that corporations would then bring more than one trillion dollars back along with thousands of jobs? Oh, so now everyone is in favor.
       Okay, now in order to keep revenue neutral we'll have to eliminate the state and local tax deductions and the homeowners interest loophole. Oops, so now nobody is in favor of  that change, not even Douglas. How about another suggestion. Tommy's hand is up, what is your suggestion? Tommy suggests we halt Farm subsidies and subsidies to the oil and gas industries. Who's in favor of that? Everyone but Betty is in favor. Why don't you like it Betty? Because the price for food, gas and oil will all go way up.
       That's right Betty. Now let's see who's still in favor of eliminating subsidies. Oh my goodness, nobody's in favor of eliminating these subsidies. Well class, is there any form of tax reform you would support? No? Well, are there any expenditures you all would be willing to cut? Julie, what would you like to cut? I'd like to cut all military spending. Jack would like to speak to that issue. Without any military to protect us, we'd be invaded by our enemies. Now even Julie wants to keep the military.
       What about food stamps, can't we cut them? Why yes, Frankie, and that would save each and every taxpayer ,hmm, let me see, I think it would save every taxpayer $1.17, but several hundred thousand people would starve. Oh, so now nobody's in favor of killing food stamps.
       Oh, Billy has his hand up. Yes Billy, what's your suggestion? I think we should cut funding for Congress, the Supreme Court and the Presidency. Why Billy, what an excellent idea. Then all we'd have to deal with is the individual states' governments? Uh oh, now nobody's in favor of Billy's idea. You see class? That's why we can't get any revenue neutral tax reform. Because everyone is in favor of any tax change that won't effect them.