Flying While Drunk.

       With everything else going on in America wouldn't ya just know that the bird population in Minnesota is inebriated. You heard that right. Birds in Minnesota are flying around drunk. It seems that an early frost has caused local berries to ferment. The birds eat the fermented berries and what would you expect? Happy hour in the trees and on the bushes.
       We've got Supreme Court troubles, trade war with China, Nuclear threats from  Iran, the Interpol president has gone missing in China, and Putin has again posed topless. Friends the world is indeed in dire straits. Drunk birds? Really? Isn't there some way to explain to the birds involved that unless they're 21 years old, they can't eat fermented fruit.
       Next thing you know, Minnesotan police will be handing out FWD arrests. Don't laugh, flying while drunk is a dangerous pastime. They're recommending you put decals on windows. Like Don't, Don't, Don't Eat The Berries. I hear Oregon has a tank for drunk birds until they sober up. I wonder how many repeat offenders?
       The next thing you'll hear is bad drunk bird jokes. Three birds enter a bar. A Robin, a Blue Jay and a Cardinal. No berries, so all three leave. I told you, bad jokes. Actually, the birds just might be onto something. With all that's going on in the world maybe they've got the right ticket.