Ah. The Trials And Tribulations

       As some of you may know, I've written a couple of children's stories. As some of you may also know it's very hard to get a book published. At least it is unless you are a sitting Congressman or Senator or Governor or President, or have been such in the past. Or unless you are a TV personality or TV wannabee personality. Of course these folks don't actually write these books so much as they "co-write" them. Which is to say, they hire a writer to write the book for them.
       Now of course there is always the self publishing route for those folks who are not among the wordsmiths listed above. There's even an entire industry of publishing companies who will publish anything you would like to write down. You could write down the names of everyone you know backwards and these publishers will put it in print, for a "small fee."
       But if you want a literary agent and a big name publisher to handle your work, you've got to be someone of considerable importance. Or you have to already be a successfully published author, although I'm not sure how you go about being successful without first being new at it. Therefore, I've decided to resurrect my candidacy for whatever office it takes to be accepted by the literary community. That leaves out dogcatcher I believe. I'll let you be the judge as to what office you feel I'm fit for. Although I still like the idea of President.
       It didn't used to be like this, there was a time when someone could get an idea for a story, sit down and type it up and send it in, get turned down a dozen times or so and then, BAM, you get your book published and you become a big wealthy star. Maybe even get your story made into a blockbuster movie. But not anymore. Now you have to be somebody important. Obviously I'm not. That's why I need to run for elective office. And this time I'm going to have to win.
       So unless you want to listen to me whine about not getting rich the rest of your life, you're gonna have to help me get elected. You can start by making an obscene donation to my new PAC. Actually it's my old PAC, P.I.M.P., Put In My Pocket. Hey if enough of you give enough, I won't have to run for office or publish anything either.