The Dreaded Year, 2012

       Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, men and women of all walks of life, Mr and Mrs America and all the ships at sea. In Snowbeard's continuing coverage of important events, comes news of a new title for this year, 2012. Of all the events and situations our country could become known for this year, such as; the killing of Osama BinLaden and most of the rest of the leadership of AlQaida, an important and vicious election year, a near comical primary season, perhaps the warmest year on record, certainly the warmest summer, the most wildfires, the greatest debt and deficit, a continuing worldwide recession, or the Arab Spring.
       None of these measure up to the year of the great American stinkbug invasion. Yes folks, this plague of 'BO' (bug odor) has infested all parts of the country. But Ground Zero seems to be the Mid Atlantic states. Which, not unsurprisingly, includes Washington D. C. Congressmen, Senators, Presidents, past, present and future along with all members of the Supreme court have been frantically searching for the solution to this dreaded situation.
       This reporter has it from unnamed sources unwilling to go on record, as stating that nothing is 'off the table' in the drive to defeat this sinister invader. The Supreme Court has decided to take the case in an attempt to clasify these stinkbugs as illegal aliens. The Pentagon has offered to send out drone aircraft against them, China has offered to export a parasitic wasp that is a natural enemy of the stinkbug, but because China is home to the only known colony of these wasps, the price is staggering. One national candidate has suggested that if we let them know how much we dislike their odor, perhaps the stinkbugs will self deport themselves. Another candidate for state wide office claims that they are not legitimate stinkbugs and therefore cannot become pregnant. He claims this fact will doom these insects to extinction.
       Congress has suggested we should defund them, further shrinking it's approval rating. In a late breaking development, the President has decided to take up the cause of the stinkbug problem by raising taxes on them, a move Congress is opposed to. The Treasury Secretary has pointed out that our government can support it's citizens or it's stinkbugs, but it cannot support both. The IRS has suggested listing them as deadbeat bugs.
       More on this developing story at eleven. This is Snowbeard Speaking, and now back to you, Rush.